Mason Greenwood Hits Pause on Motivation…

Mason Greenwood’s latest career move was a dropkick to the ego as the ex-Manchester United star found himself warming the bench at Marseille. Despite boasting 16 goals in Ligue 1, he sat out the starting line-up against Lens, leaving many fans puzzled and scratching their heads like they were trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube while blindfolded. Reports suggest that the winger’s work ethic decided to take an unexpected holiday, much to the dismay of coach Roberto De Zerbi who couldn’t help but roll his eyes skyward.

Whispers around the training ground hint that Greenwood’s laid-back attitude wasn’t exactly winning him any Employee of the Month awards. His “nonchalance”, “attitude”, and “lack of effort” were more chilling than a French winter. Cue De Zerbi’s motivational speech: “Hey kid, less chill, more thrill!” Clearly, the coach had high hopes for his star player, even contacting Greenwood’s dad before signing the dotted line for Marseille. But hope isn’t enough for De Zerbi, who’s eagerly waiting for Greenwood to step up his game before winter comes…again.

Meanwhile, Greenwood tossed his England jersey aside and opted to represent Jamaica. Apparently, FA bigwig Mark Bullingham was as startled as a cat confronted with a cucumber when he heard the news. With Bullingham admitting he was out of the loop, it seems Greenwood swapped international teams like a fashionista swaps scarves – with flair and frigidity.