The Derby of the Snoozing Titans…
In a match that could put a hyperactive hamster to sleep, Manchester United and Manchester City locked horns at Old Trafford, and after 90 minutes of strategic staring, decided that scoring goals was too mainstream! This 196th Manchester derby ended 0-0, ensuring everyone had a restful evening ably supported by a symphony of yawns. The highlight? Joshua Zirkzee’s juggler act that had fans confused if they were watching a football match or the circus.
Meanwhile, David Moyes enjoyed the view from the directors’ box, probably reminiscing about the good old days when United losing at Old Trafford was practically a sporting event in itself. Pep Guardiola, less than thrilled with City’s slow-motion soccer, felt compelled to chat with Luke Shaw about the art of speed-walking post-match. On United’s side, the tactical masterclass involved reverting to a formation inspired by kitchen utensils ā sharp and pointy yet ultimately ineffective.
As if to complete the painting of confusion, Bruno Fernandes soared the ball towards an emergent parallel universe, and Rasmus Hojlund’s positioning was likened to a stray sheep wondering which way the grass grows. Casemiro, De Bruyne, and other 30-somethings formed a nostalgic club, playing with an intensity that suggested they were due for nap time. Old Trafford became home to a peculiar brand of football humor, with fans singing tunes that would put even the karaoke champion Phil Foden to shame. And just like that, this peculiar derby floated into the archives as a tactical masterpiece of inaction and invisible goals.
