When Benzema Bewitched Fergie & United…
Step back in time, fellow football fanatics, to the pre-YouTube era — yes, really! It’s 2008, and in the land of sublime baguettes and berets, something rare is brewing. Scottish legend Sir Alex Ferguson, known more for his hairdryer than sartorial skills, is spotted doing a cheeky bit of sweet-talking with Karim Benzema, Lyon’s young striker sporting the finesse of a thousand truffle hunters. Benzema had just pulled out football sorcery to give Sir Alex’s squad a nightmare they’d remember longer than a rainy Sunday in Scotland. What did Fergie do? He offered young Benzema a shiny, red Manchester United shirt in the tunnel — smoother than a swerving Ronaldo free-kick. Spoiler alert: the lad didn’t bite.
Lyon’s president, Jean-Michel Aulas, frothed like an overcooked fondue, accusing Sir Alex of attempted “destabilisation” — scandalous, I say! And when L’Equipe nudged Aulas with the idea of a United offer for Benzema, papa Aulas fired back quirkier than an offside pigeon. “Sure,” he quipped. “Throw in Cristiano Ronaldo, too.” Fast forward like a streaker on a wet pitch, and Benzema and Ronaldo shimmied across to Real Madrid, en route to legendary status and trophy lifts that’d make Hercules wince.
Sadly for United, with Benzema as elusive as trying to catch smoke with a goal net, Fergie had to settle for the enigmatic Dimitar Berbatov while Benzema danced away beyond their grasp. Despite wheels of cheese’s worth of finances from Ronaldo’s Madrid departure, the Glazers kept their purse sewn tighter than a centre-back’s shorts. Enter Gabriel Obertan and Michael Owen, the baguette and croissant where a cake and a pile of éclairs had been eyed. United’s quest for the ultimate striker went on, but the Benzema-for-United dream was as far away as a penalty shootout victory. Blimey, what a tangle of boots and heartstrings!
