From Old Trafford to Maradona’s Turf…
Hold onto your flat caps and bristle brushes, because Napoli boss Antonio Conte has recently revealed that he thought luring Scott ‘Scattershot’ McTominay from the highlands of Manchester United to the pizza paradise of Naples was as likely as scoring a goal in a closed-roof stadium! The switcheroo, a deadline day deal more zigzaggy than a dribbling spaghetti noodle, saw the Scotsman sign on the dotted line for £25.7 million with a cheeky 10% sell-on just for giggles.
Once a key cog in Manchester’s midfield engine, Ten Hag grumbled over his morning espresso, not wanting to part with McTominay’s 10-goal feet of fury. However, with the financial ledger papers whispering sweet ‘pure profit’ nothings into the bean-counters’ ears, McTominay was whisked away. Naples welcomed him like a plate of pasta arriving at a deserted dinner table: enthusiastically and with plenty of sauce. Up on the football stage, McTominay didn’t exactly dawdle; he hammered in 13 champagned goals in just 36 appearances, ensuring Napoli’s silverware cup overfloweth yet again!
With a bag of tricks and an occasional flying Scotsman goal, McTominay had something to prove. Conte, eyes wide as a calf seeing snow for the first time, couldn’t contain his bemusement that the ‘non-starter’ had crash-landed with his band of pizza-twirling, vespa-driving comrades. “Never in a million corners of a football pitch did I think we’d nab him,” confessed Conte, still pinching himself like he’d found a magic lamp. Meanwhile, Italian directors puffed their chests like pigeons on power lines, pleased with their catch of the century. As always, Manchester United fans, stay tuned for all the noodle-kicking, header-smashing action and more merry news at your favorite hotpot of football fanaticism, the Manchester Evening News!
