Manchester United’s Odegaard Tango Tactics…

Diogo Dalot had a real head-scratcher during Manchester United’s clash with Arsenal, as the Red Devils had what might be the world’s wobbliest plan to keep Martin Odegaard in check. Moved to left-wing-back as a stand-in for the benched Patrick Dorgu, Dalot was trying to multitask like a plate-spinner in a circus. He even nearly scored a magic assist, if not for David Raya’s dramatic leg stretch that would make a yogi jealous.

United missed several chances, with Dalot waxing lyrical about a ‘well-defined plan’ that sounded more like a game of whack-a-mole with Odegaard’s name on it. The Red Devils decided to try the “let’s press them high until we’re tired” tactic, and when that failed, switching to “retreat and hope” seemed to be the move of choice. Yet despite a revolving door of defensive panic, Dalot insisted they “found spaces” (possibly just gaps between their own defenders) and lamented missing the dub.

Despite salvaging a point, United’s season looks as ragged as a cat hairball. Boss man Ruben Amorim wasn’t too bothered, confidently declaring to Sky Sports his strategy isn’t meant to wow spectators but to irritate them just right. With eyes now set on wrestling Real Sociedad into submission, United’s fans remain cautiously optimistic, fingers crossed that their next attempt at victory isn’t as slippy as their last.