Red Devils Eye Royal Antwerp’s Lammens…

Manchester United are on the hunt for a miracle worker to fix their goalkeeper troubles, reportedly eyeing a ÂŁ17 million move for Royal Antwerp’s shot-stopper, Senne Lammens. With multiple plates spinning like a circus juggler on a caffeine binge, they’re scrambling to seal this deal before Monday’s deadline. Altay Bayindir and Andre Onana have both made fans wish they had new hobbies involving fewer heart attacks, leaving everyone praying for a heroic arrival. United’s hopes for Lammens hinge on a cascade of other deals, including whether Alejandro Garnacho will be traded to Chelsea.

Former keeper Ben Foster hilariously remarked that finding a world-class talent at Royal Antwerp is as likely as finding a unicorn in your backyard mowing your lawn. He also humorously critiqued Bayindir’s corner aversion, implying he’s got the stability of a wobbly jelly at a bouncy castle convention. Meanwhile, despite rumors flying faster than a football through Bayindir’s hands, Onana remains firmly in United’s plans, ready to grace the Carabao Cup match at Grimsby. Stay tuned—the Red Devils’ gamble might just bring a miracle after all!