Player Ratings from the Manchester Derby…
In the 196th bone-shakin’, heart-thumpin’ Manchester derby, the clash of titans ended at ol’ flat zero-zero! A fĂştbol fiesta at Old Trafford turned into a no-goals bro-fest with players swapping high fives instead of goals. Alejandro Garnacho came all Hansel and Gretel in front of the goal—lost in the woods trying to decide whether to head or boot a pass from Diogo Dalot. Joshua “Almighty Boot” Zirkzee thundered in with hopes of firing up the scoreboard but was denied by Ederson, the human wall. Alas, United kept knocking, but it turned out the door was jammed shut like a rusty goalpost.
Andre Onana might have had more fun at a dart tournament than divvying passes today, earning points from the fans like a cat toying with a frustrated mouse. Leny Yoro was as comfortable as a cat on a warm radiator up against the Citizens. Meanwhile, Harry Maguire put in a smooth return to the pitch until he was summoned for tea before the hour—6 from 10, ’cause we love a trier!
From the rest, Dalot was busy crafting beautiful crosses like he was weaving a fine jumper for Christmas, while Casemiro and his 30-something peers held the back fort better than prayer and caffeine. Bruno Fernandes played artist in motion, offering assists like a juggling street performer. But alas, Rasmus Hojlund had less impact than a candle in a hurricane. Though Zirkzee and Mount tried to orchestrate a coup, they’d need more luck than a leprechaun on match day! Manager’s plan? A chessboard of defense, sprinkled with snippets of razzle-dazzle striker magic—6 out of 10 for keepin’ everyone entertained!
