Manchester United Fans’ Hysterical Foot Stomping!…
Old Trafford on Sunday was like a melting pot, with fans boiling over like a kettle left too long on the stove. Between chanting anti-Glazer anthems and moaning about ticket hikes, the mood was ripe for a Shakespearean play about woe and soccer ball sorcery.
Witnessing Diogo Dalot pass the ball backwards was as popular as pineapple on pizza, leading to united groans that echoed through the stadium. When Rasmus Hojlund bid adieu and Chido Obi entered the scene, cheers cascaded like confetti at a wedding.
But the pièce de résistance was Andre Onana, who took the art of time-wasting to what could only be described as performance art. Those 15 minutes of pondering and prancing with Victor Lindelof left fans wondering if their fries might arrive faster at the concession stand.
Even in extra time, Onana indulged in meditative footsy with the ball, much to the crowd’s disbelief. “It’s a deliberate tactic,” assured Amorim, while fans started a side business selling sandwatches.
It’s not all in slo-mo for Onana, though! His between-the-post heroics were a solid reminder of why he’s worth every penny of that £47million. Yet, fans are wishing for faster footwork and a little less interpretive dance, please.
Maybe if everyone sped up, including the ball, Manchester United might just earn a standing ovation, rather than a perplexed head-scratch.
