Hojlund in a Goal Drought Monsoon…
In a plot thicker than potato soup, Manchester United’s goal machine Rasmus Hojlund has found himself in a pickle with only three Premier League goals to his celebrated name this season. After missing the opening act due to a stubborn hamstring that insisted on behaving like a drama queen, Hojlund has had a rougher time than a cat at a dogs’ disco. He’s under the United spotlight, and it’s hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna!
Despite sporting the legendary number nine jersey, our lad Hojlund is discovering what it’s like to wear boots made of marshmallow when it comes to finishing. His performances have been as inconsistent as jam and mustard on toast. Even in the Europa League, when faced with Lyon, he fumbled with the finesse of a circus clown juggling ice cubes. Manager Ruben Amorim is already browsing the striker aisle, looking for a new scoring sensation as if wandering through a striker supermarket.
The young Dane (who’s been critiqued more than a pineapple on a pizza) has been sweating buckets under the pressure. Yet, he handles interviews like a seasoned smoothie with words smoother than a football in fairy slippers. Hojlund dreams of scoring as many goals as a squirrel gathers acorns, and although he promises improvement, for now, it’s a rollercoaster ride with squeaky wheels and flying peanuts!
