Manchester United’s Whirlwind Calendar…
By Merlin’s straggly beard and Ronaldo’s golden shin guards, the grand football oracle has unveiled Manchester United’s absolutely bonkers 2025/26 Premier League schedule! Kicking off this melodrama at Old Trafford, United will tango with Arsenal on August 17. The clash promises more fireworks than a New Year’s Eve over London, with the lads determined to defend their turf like a pack of footy-loving meerkats at 4.30pm sharp!
Clad in gear so fresh it might still have that new-shirt smell, the Red Devils will then scamper down to the famous Big Smoke for a spirited samba with Fulham at Craven Cottage. Undoubtedly, the fans will chew their fingernails down to the bone as they eagerly await the squad’s return for a thunderous showdown with Burnley on August 30. Splendid delights lie ahead as the sacred Etihad Stadium beckons in September when Manchester might just quake as United lock horns with the mighty City!
Hark! These fixtures are as slippery as a greased pig at a country fair, subject to last-minute switcheroos. The mad circus barrels on until May 24, dancing through dates with Liverpool, Chelsea, Tottenham, and even the ghost of fixtures past and future! So fasten your seatbelts, football fanatics, for a rollercoaster of kick-ups and kerfuffles!
