Sheringham’s Feather-Ruffling Solution…

In a plot twist worthy of a soap opera, Teddy Sheringham reckons the legendary Roy Keane is the man to save Manchester United from its latest crises. Why, you ask? Well, because who better to fix a chaotic hen house than someone who loves ruffling feathers!

Amorim’s appointment by United co-owner Sir Jim Ratcliffe has somehow made United fans nostalgic for needles and eyes. The Portuguese coach has turned out to be equally allergic to wins and victories, with 10 wins against 9 losses – not quite a recipe for success.

Sheringham, who famously cuddled the Treble trophy (whilst grinning like a Cheshire cat), believes the steely Irishman and former skipper, Roy Keane, could bring back the good ol’ days. “He’s our man,” Teddy exclaimed, imagining the fiery scenes Roy would bring. “Fireworks and a bit of chaos, but come on, that’s what Manchester United needs, right?”

With Keane missing from the managerial circus since his last gig, Sheringham seems super excited about his prospective eco-friendly career path at Old Trafford. Sir Alex Ferguson’s former warrior could soon turn the Red Devils’ locker room into his battlefield once more!