Ruben Amorim’s Secret Shopping List Revealed!…
Ah, the saga of Rasmus Hojlund at Manchester United—a tale as classic as the Chicken Curry Pie at Old Trafford! With only seven cheeky goals this season, Hojlund’s whirlwind romance with the net seems to have fizzled out like a bad Tinder date. Despite his whopping £72 million price tag, the Danish dynamo has seen better days since his Atalanta glory.
Enter United’s new ringmaster, Ruben Amorim, who’s having a cheeky little think about ordering a new frontman from the football catalogue. The Mirror suggests that Amorim might be losing patience with Hojlund’s ability to be the first-string striker. Apparently, Ruben’s wishlist features burly strikers with the guile of James Bond and goal ratios that would make Einstein do a double-take!
The thrilling sequel to this transfer soap opera might star Crystal Palace’s Jean-Philippe Mateta, who starred in a delightful 2-0 win against United, or Sporting Lisbon’s Viktor Gyokeres. Gyokeres, priced like a Tesla at £80 million, has been scoring like he’s on a Mario Kart speed boost! Aim your binoculars, keep your popcorn ready, and pray for more goals and less drama at Old Trafford!
