Man United Makes £2bn Bet on Gigantic Stadium…

Manchester United is dreaming big! The club is planning to replace Old Trafford with a whopping £2 billion, 100,000-seater stadium. Clearly, they figure if they can’t beat ’em, they might as well out-seat ’em. Announced Tuesday, this mega-build will pop up right next to its current aging neighbor, promising to be the Buckingham Palace of football fields—just with fewer corgis.

Sir Jim Ratcliffe, the minority owner with a football strategy stake worth 27.7%, shared his enthusiastic visions of turning this dream into reality. He’s convinced that by 2025, “We’ll have a stadium so iconic, pigeons will rent seats to watch our games.” Despite the hefty price tag, the aim is to create a future-proof football paradise that doesn’t crumble under the weight of history.

Transparency is key here, as UEFA reports reveal United needs this stadium upgrade to keep up with the Joneses—or rather, the Real Madrids. While they’re hoping this new venue will help rake in the dough, United’s ultimate goal is to avoid becoming the “blockbuster of football”—great in retrospect but entirely out of fashion.