Man Utd’s Captain Marvel Saves the Day…

The whispers from Old Trafford are loud and hopeful, as Manchester United’s big wigs dream of shooing in some shiny new players this summer. With £89 million already in layaway payments for their current collection of sports stars, the board is rubbing its hands in glee, hoping Ruben Amorim can conjure magic with what resembles more of a piggy bank than a treasure chest. Surely, anything’s better than the ghost of budget past.

Thursday night was a momentous occasion as United waltzed against Real Sociedad, with Bruno Fernandes turning the game into his one-man show. With a staggering 28 goal involvements in 43 games, Bruno’s boots have carried a weight Apollo would envy! United owes its every heartbeat to this midfield maestro. Imagine a world without Fernandes – oh wait, that would be a horror movie competing with the Poltergeist.

Bruno had a chance to jump ship last summer but chose the good old red instead. Having stared alongside Roy Keane’s locker room sermons and Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s wage wizardry, he’s proven he’s more than just a man, he’s an icon! With the Europa League cup in his sights, who needs a cutlass when you’ve got Cap’n Fernandes at the helm? ⚽