The Spectacular Saga of Selling Elanga…
Step right up, football folks! Witness the Wild West of club chaos hit Manchester United, the place where Murphy’s Law has set up camp with a teapot and scones. In this latest episode of ‘As the Red Devils Twirl’, we spin the wheel and look at the grand exit of one Anthony Elanga. No, folks, selling Elanga wasn’t one of their recruitment blunders. He swapped his Red uniform for a Forest green to become the wood nymph of Nottingham, leaving folks to squawk ‘Oi! United fluffed it!’ But these folks might not know Elanga’s goal record was as empty as a referee’s Christmas card list.
Our blazing winger roster was filled with Rashford juggling oranges, Sancho doing the tango, and Antony perfecting his left-foot-only dribbling act. The new boy Elanga, once Rangnick’s golden child, struggled to leave any threat on the opposing keepers’ shortlists. Enter stage right, Garnacho and Amad, who sprinted past Elanga faster than an ice cream van on a hot day, claiming the limelight. Rashford’s escapades included hosting after parties post-defeat, with United oblivious to this socialite scoring system!
Even Elanga’s chant may have promised ‘scoring goals from everywhere’, but that tune was more fiction than fact. Yet, let’s give credit to the lad; his dutiful dash on the pitch is commendable! His goals—a pair for headers, a pair for side footers—came whenever the football stars aligned. As he gears up in Nottingham, the nifty footwork may bring more rewards. Meanwhile, United marches on in their slapstick league of extraordinary recruitment flops, paying top dollar for the potential yet shunning pure goal-hungry talent. Oh, the grand tales of football triumphs and tumbles!
