The Fantastical Fairytale of Trafford’s Transformation…
Hold onto your bowler hats and bootlaces, folks! Old Trafford is set for such a mammoth makeover that even footballs might do a triple-take! Trafford Council has summoned a crack-team consortium of architects, designers, and perhaps a wizard or two, to conjure up a masterplan so grand it might just bring tears to the eyes of even the sternest goalpost. This masterplan, starring the World Cup-winning architects Allies and Morrison, aims to kick Old Trafford into the future with a new 100,000-seat stadium, supposedly capable of generating a mind-boggling ÂŁ7bn a year! Talk about a hat-trick of transformation!
Forget your everyday stadium strolls. Prepare for a ‘processional route’ that promises to make you feel like a football deity striding down Sir Matt Busby Way while adoring flocks of fans throw flowers and complimentary nachos at your feet! A ‘world-class public space’ is in the pipeline too, where fans can jostle with joy and perhaps even spot a unicorn or two prancing past the new primary school planned by the scenic waters of the Manchester Ship Canal. And don’t get us started on those whispering floating pontoons and piers, which might just be hosting the next water-based football tournament!
All this is happening in a circus-sized land of 200 acres, offering more kickabouts than a beach ball in a tornado! With the Trafford Wharfside area’s grand ambitions to embrace nature, the transformation aims to be greener than a referee’s whistle on Earth Day. Councillor Liz Patel is excitedly rewinding her Vuvuzela, stating it’ll bring new homes, jobs, and spaces, plus more league titles than you can blink at! Partner at Allies and Morrison, Paul Eaton, skipped a goal giggle and exclaimed that the Trafford team will shape this into a future wonderland, ensuring feelings of back-heeled jubilations for everyone involved in sunny Manchester’s horizon.
