The Comedic Capers of Andre Onana…
Imagine Manchester United’s goalie, Andre Onana, deciding to jive with rival sweeper Nemanja Matic before the Europa League stint. Talk about unleashing a football soapy! Matic dubbed Onana “one of the wonkiest keepers in Red Devil history,” while Onana puffed up, bragging about his trophy shelf being fuller than a closet after Black Friday sales. But then, upon the first whistle’s echo in Lyon’s glitzy Groupama Stadium, Onana was ready to channel more Mr. Bean than Oliver Kahn.
Alas! If one bought stock in Onana slip-ups, they’d be richer than Roman Abramovich! Thiago Almada’s free-kick delivered a curveball that scooted by Onana like a loosed squirrel on the pitch, and just like that, he had an emotional ball-fetching adventure from deep within the net’s abyss. Matic’s smirk probably stretched wider than a football field, not just kicking figurative goals but the actual ones too.
Which comedy scriptwriter drafted Onana’s tale this season? He once was the dazzling hero with double-saves that made saves-of-the-month glitter like football Oscars! From toppling like dominoes against Arsenal and crafting corner-concede chaos, Onana’s key mistakes could pen a slapstick handbook for goalies. Perhaps Amorim’s patience stretches thinner than a Ronaldo-led free-kick wall. Tick-tock, Onana, the laughter-fuelled clock’s ticking!
