Ruben Amorim’s Goalkeeper Quest…
In a plot twist straight out of a footballing fairy tale, Ruben Amorim has decided he needs a brand-spanking-new goalkeeper, two years after Manchester United’s own version of a clearance sale, where David de Gea, Dean Henderson, and Matej Kovar departed like confused pigeons from a park bench. Now, while De Gea is stacking clean sheets at Fiorentina like it’s nobody’s business, and Kovar is collecting trophies at Bayer Leverkusen as a hobby, Henderson is the real boogeyman haunting United’s dreams at Crystal Palace. Against United, ol’ Deano’s got a perfect record, leaving Harry Maguire & Co. boggled by a 6-0 scoreline spread across three matches. It’s like a ghost story, but with more goalposts.
Over at United, they’ve been hoping for a miracle with Altay Bayindir, patiently waiting like a stray footballer hoping for a call-up. But alas, the Turkish tower has yet to grace the Premier League’s pitch while Onana, United’s current glove guru, is reportedly living in constant fear of being benched. Meanwhile, Henderson, in a plot twist trickier than a Cristiano Ronaldo stepover, has cozied up next to Jordan Pickford on the England team and both have been in a neck-and-neck race to snatch the illustrious Golden Glove. No spooky surprise party could match the shocker that Henderson isn’t boomeranging back to Old Trafford any time soon. No buy-back ninja move here, folks!
Dean Henderson’s exit is as dramatic as a soap opera plot–minus the catchy theme song. Rumor had it, just like spotting Bigfoot, that there might be a magical return clause. Yet, our hero has perfected the art of bridge burning in interviews, making any Old Trafford cameo as likely as a giraffe in goalkeeping gloves. United thought a clause might bring him back, but he’s about as interested as a cat in a dog park. He might prance on Old Trafford when Palace comes to town, but not before. So, gather round, football fans, for the next episode of this football saga — now with extra absurdity!
