The Curious Case of McTominay and Hojlund…
Oh, how the Mighty Red Engines have stuttered like a broken cassette player! In a shadowy corner of Old Trafford’s stadium, far away from any sense of cheer, the glorious weekly gloom continued as United fell to their 15th Premier League tumble against Wolves. With their spirit dimmer than an overcooked steak, MUTV brought out a time machine of nostalgia, playing reruns of ‘All the Goals: Scott McTominay’. I mean, what better way to get over a defeat than to hear the dulcet tones of past glory echo through the haunted hallways?
But wait, there’s more irony in the air than in a stand-up comedy routine at Wembley! Whilst United sinks deeper into their goal-scoring void, McTominay has been kicking footy balls into the back of the net like they’re allergic to opposing goalkeepers. Our midfield magician has outscored the supposedly deadliest duo upfront who cost United a dragon’s hoard worth of gold coins! And speaking of powdered strikers, poor Rasmus Hojlund remains their leading contender—at least in missed goals and high-profile frustrations. Cue Alan Shearer shaking his curls and wagging his finger like a disappointed uncle!
Now, the whole Hojlund saga feels like a Shakespearean drama mixed with a dodgy rom-com. United’s rollercoaster of a romance with their Danish wonder sees him more in the sin bin than on the score sheet, missing so many chances it has fans longing for an Obi-Wan, though not from Star Wars. Fear not, kind folks, coach Ruben Amorim promises to keep working Hojlund like a coal miner’s donkey, hoping one day the lad might actually find the treasure map buried beneath Old Trafford and return United to their trophy-laden past. Until then, we’ll just keep replaying McTominay’s masterpieces, hoping some of that magic dust rubs off on Hojlund’s boots! Woe is me, I mean, goooooooal!
