Red Devils Rebuild: Now with Extra Spice!…
Holy moly, what a season for Manchester United! Like a magician with only disappearing tricks, they ended last season with more holes in their attack than a Swiss cheese left out at a rat convention! This summer, they’re throwing a suitcase full of sparkly new signings at their stale forward line. Matheus Cunha, knocking goals like a toddler smashes Lego towers, along with the buzzing Bryan Mbeumo from Brentford, is on United’s wish list. They’re looking to turn their garden hose stream into an unstoppable football tsunami!
Meanwhile, their midfield situation is like a game of musical chairs played by statues. Manuel Ugarte is having the kind of patchy first season that might just make you want to hide under your football scarf. The poor fella was passed around more than the dessert at a Christmas dinner. Luckily, with trusty amulet Bruno Fernandes by his side, Ugarte might yet become the midfield messiah everyone’s been praying for.
As for the man himself, Luke Shaw, it looks like United’s been using him with the precision of a blindfolded, dizzy giraffe. Ready to reinvent as a left winger with more huff and puff than a Big Bad Wolf convention, Shaw, with Dorgu playing mix-and-match on the left flank, could see United hitting surprising highs. Or crashing into unforeseen lows — all while keeping us on edge, cradled with hope, popcorn in hand!
