Fans Dream of Osimhen In Red!…
Once upon a time, in the mystical land of Manchester, brave knights in red armor rode forth on an epic quest. Their mission? To find the legendary Goal King to save their castle from the dreaded score drought of last season. With only 44 magical strikes to their name, their enchanted goal tally was lower than a troll’s bowling score. Their current knights, Hojlund and Zirkzee, conjured just seven dazzling goals between them, sending wise old fans to brew potions of hope at the summer transfer market.
Amidst the swirling fog of transfer gossip, the names of talismanic strikers echoed through the taverns — Viktor Gyokeres of Sporting CP, Victor Osimhen of the Napoli realm, and Hugo Ekitike from Eintracht Frankfurt’s fair lands. Fans waved imaginary banners or, rather, held up emojis, shouting “Osimhen! Gyokeres!” in a poll that saw 42% pledge allegiance to Osimhen and 41% to the might of Gyokeres. Poor Ekitike received just the crumbs of support, with only 9% of the fanfare.
In this whimsical saga of football fortunes, 61% of our passionate spectators insist on spending a treasure chest full of £60-75 million gold coins for their hero. Meanwhile, 19% say they should attempt to harness the winds of fortune with just £50-60 million pocket money. But beware, dear Glazers, only the bravest dare to challenge the realms of fees beyond £75 million! As the sun sets on Old Trafford, only time will reveal the chosen one to don the United crown.
