Calvert-Lewin’s Striker Saga…
In a plot twist bigger than a World Cup final, Ruben Amorim, that tactical wizard at Manchester United, is on the hunt for a new hotshot striker. With previous stars Rasmus Hojlund and Joshua Zirkzee delivering less punch than a deflated football, eyes have comically turned to Dominic Calvert-Lewin, who’s as free as a bird after waving goodbye to Everton. That news hit the Manchester Evening News comments section like a poorly aimed penalty, sparking more drama than a last-minute VAR decision!
The 28-year-old, who could write a novel on injuries, once dazzled like a superstar during Carlo Ancelotti’s Everton reign—banging in 36 goals faster than you can say “Toffees!” Yet, his scoring boots have since gathered more dust than trophies at an Arsenal fan’s house. His free agent status means he could waltz into Old Trafford without a transfer cost, which is music to penny-pinching United ears, especially while they tussle for Bryan Mbeumo. But, oh, the risk! It’d be like replacing a flat tire with a slightly less flat one!
Our keyboard coaches aren’t convinced either. “He’s got injury records longer than Sir Alex’s winning streak!” shouted one angry fan. Others joked United’d need a stretcher on speed dial with DCL on board. Some even imagined him slipping straight into United’s physio room like an overenthusiastic streaker on match day. It’s the kind of drama an episode of EastEnders would envy, leaving fans pondering if this daring striker gamble is worth the potential comedy of errors!
