Leverkusen’s Comic Kickoff Fiasco…
In a twist of fate that could knock your shin pads off, Erik ten Hag wobbled onto the management pitch with Bayer Leverkusen, only to face a 5-1 walloping from Flamengo’s baby-faced warriors! These under-20 samba stars danced circles around Ten Hag’s squad like they were playing on a pinball machine, hitting them with a barrage of goals faster than you can say “Ein Prosit.” The former Manchester United gaffer, fresh from being curtseyed out of Old Trafford, must’ve thought he’d joined the wrong circus tent!
With enough absentees to host a ghost party, Leverkusen wobbled, strutted, and accidentally reenacted the Titanic—on grass! Picture this: Leverkusen cruising to the jungle tunes of a preseason friendly in Rio, but within ten minutes, it’s 2-0 to Flamengo! Matheus Goncalves and Pedro Leao gave the Germans a free samba lesson that made the Ruhr Valley echo with laughter. And by halftime, it felt like a German folk tale gone rogue—4-0 on the board, with only bratwurst crumbs left for respect!
Despite the flaming net and soggy spirits, Montrell Culbreath managed a late, if slightly tepid, coup de théâtre! With a lighthearted optimism fit for a children’s cartoon, Ten Hag shrugged it off like a balloon hat at a surprise party, mumbling, “Better to lose the game than lose our pants—or players!” Tune in next Saturday when they face Bochum, hoping for a cleaner sheet and fewer balls in their net than a cat juggling mice.
