To Sign or Not to Sign?…
Lo and behold, Manchester United have sipped from the cup of indecision as their pursuit of Newcastle’s Alexander Isak dribbles out of bounds! With Isak itching to vamoose from the Magpies like a squirrel at a dog park, Old Trafford bigwigs stand firm, crossing the signing off their supermarket shopping list. At a jaw-dropping £150 million price tag, the Toon Club’s talisman could make even Monopoly Man quiver in his top hat!
Hyped as the Super Swede, Isak’s pinged more goals than a pinball wizard on caffeine last season. Meanwhile, United’s top scorer, the dreamy Rasmus Hojlund, popped four namby-pamby goals last term — bless his expensive boots! The conundrum? The Reds have already splashed a glossified £133.5m on attacking wonders Matheus Cunha and Bryan Mbeumo. Remember, folks, money doesn’t grow on goalposts!
Elsewhere in Lalaland, Liverpool flutters its eyelashes at Isak, almost as enthusiastically as a debutante at her first football cotillion. Meanwhile, United’s eyes are scanning for bargain strikers like they’re hunting Easter eggs in summer. Ollie Watkins and Jean-Philippe Mateta peek above the metaphorical parapet as possible goal-gobblers to rescue United’s strike force from the brink of chucklesome mediocrity.
