Mbeumo’s Pre-season Whirlwind…
In a plot twist worthy of a popcorn blockbuster, Bryan Mbeumo rolled into the MetLife Stadium suited in Manchester United’s shiny new colors — only to be benched due to a last-minute dash from his old Brentford hive. Having cost United a whopping £71 million, as much as a gilded castle of arena snacks, Mbeumo arrived fashionably late, thanks to Brentford’s tardy summer schedule. Coaches said he’s not “match-fit,” which is code for “recovering from jet lag and too many in-flight pretzels.”
While Mbeumo sips his Gatorade from the sidelines, missing his chance to dazzle against West Ham, head coach Ruben Amorim assembled a team akin to a superhero squad. Altay Bayindir, with reflexes like a caffeinated squirrel, jumps between the posts for the absent Andre Onana, who’s nursing a minor bump. Meanwhile, Leny Yoro and Ayden Heaven form the defense-worthy pairing that even a spaghetti monster couldn’t break. The mid-pitch maestros, Bruno “The Wizard” Fernandes and Matheus Cunha, conjure plays behind the dashing striker, Rasmus Hojlund, armed with golden boots and a smirk that screams “I got this!”
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