A Goalkeeping Catastrophe in Manchester…
Oh, the drama at Manchester United! Poor Andre Onana seems to have sticky gloves made of jelly, as every ball aimed at him slides right in. In the latest circus act against Lyon, Onana managed to mesmerize fans with a gravity-defying air flap, leaving the net wide open for Lyon’s Thiago Almada to score as if he had a golden ticket to the candy factory. As if that wasn’t enough, Ryan Cherki doubled the fun with another cheeky score. Onana’s blunders have got us wondering if he’s auditioning for the role of ‘Invisible Wall’ in a local mime show!
In search of a new net ninja, the Red Devils have set their sights on Burnley’s wonder wall, James Trafford. Standing like a castle fortress with a mere 12 goals conceded in what feels like a thousand games, Trafford is being chased by the Manchester merry men, out to swindle rivals Newcastle and Chelsea. The rumor-cauldron bubbles over as United’s secret weapon, Jason Wilcox, plans to woo Trafford with sweet whispers of past academy glories!
Meanwhile, United’s boss Ruben Amorim decides to take the comforting route, standing by Onana despite the goalkeeping calamities. He claims, “I’ve made more mistakes than Onana this month,” revealing secretly he might have a closet career in comedy open-mic! Former midfield wizard Nemanja Matic didn’t hold back, calling Onana ‘one of the worst goalies’ in United’s legacy. But who needs critics when you’ve got a prospective hero like traffic-stop-wouldn’t-even-phase-me James Trafford on the horizon?
