Scholes’ comical praise for City’s Donnarumma
Scholes jokes Manchester City’s new goalie Donnarumma is more of a ÂŁ27m Santa Claus delivery than a smart signing, wishing he played for United instead!
Man Utd’s Predicted Premier League Finish
Man Utd wobbles aimlessly on the pitch, predicting a 12th spot finish—like a dessert that turns out to be tofu! Can they score big in the derby?
Stuttgart Star Angelo Stiller Hints at Move
Get ready for a midfield magic show! Angelo Stiller may zoom to Manchester United, leaving Stuttgart fans buzzing like a beehive! Is MLS his next stop? Stay tuned!
Rio’s Hilarious 8/10 for Man United’s Transfers
Rio gives Man United’s summer swap-a-thon an 8/10! Bye, “bomb squad”! Rio loves the offload game. Players out, goalie Senne in, Martinez too busy dancing!
Man Utd’s Midfield Wishlist for January
Man United’s midfield needs a glow-up, eyeing new stars Baleba and Lavia in January. It’s like a New Year’s Eve party — will they dance or fumble?
Man United’s Hjulmand Saga Takes Hilarious Turn
Morten Hjulmand’s move to Man United is as quiet as a mouse with stage fright! Is his next gig juggling midfielders or ice cubes? Stay tuned for drama!
Man United snatches first win with late drama
Man United’s penalty drama unfolds as Fernandes blasts a last-minute goal against Burnley! VAR’s marathon and squirrel-speed antics add wild twists!
Sancho’s Aston Villa Loan Shocker!
Sancho bends reality, joins Aston Villa! Chelsea paid up to get rid, now he’s on a wild ride with Villa covering 80% of his salary. Catch him if you can!
Man United’s Wacky Transfer Deadline Tale
Man United’s transfer antics steer clear of squirrel-crazy chaos! Minimal drama, a last-minute Belgian goalie, but no Conor Gallagher catch—stay tuned!
Man Utd Missed Donnarumma by ÂŁ8M!
Man Utd swaps Ferrari for go-kart goalie! Donnarumma slips to Man City, leaving Red Devils with Lammens. Can he turbo-charge trophies or just coast?
Jadon Sancho Feels the Heat at Villa Park
Jadon Sancho lands at Aston Villa, leaving Manchester United’s players as silent as ninjas in a library! Will Sancho rock the Europa League? Tune in!
Grimsby Town Fined for Ineligible Player
Grimsby Town’s noodle-timing signing in a crazy Carabao Cup win led to a fine, but no replay! Utter drama with Man Utd, leave your magician hat at home!
Antony Embraced by Betis Fans at Airport
Soccer superhero Antony lands in Seville, greeted like Bigfoot on a unicorn! Betis fans cheer as he ditches Manchester for a green-and-white adventure. Go Antony!
Grimsby Fined: Beats Man Utd with Ineligible Player
Grimsby beats Man Utd in epic Carabao Cup clash but gets fined for fielding a player registered later than a sleepy sloth! 20k fine says the EFL!
Man Utd Stars Eye Exits After Transfer Deadline
Man Utd’s Malacia and Mather eye grand Turkish exit like unclaimed Christmas socks. Will they sizzle in Saudi or spin like dervishes? Stay tuned!