Baleba’s Strict Rules at Manchester United…
Manchester United are all set to charm Brighton’s Carlos Baleba into a jaw-dropping £100 million transfer. With a reinforced £200m attack duo ripping through defenses like a hot knife through butter, the Red Devils’ boss Ruben Amorim is on the hunt for a midfield maestro. Baleba could step into the spotlight, much like how the sun steps out to melt ice cream faster than a toddler spills juice – now that’s fast! But Brighton isn’t going to let him go that easily. They’re demanding a mountain of cash before starting trade talks. If all goes well, Baleba will bag a deal that pops eyeballs in the football world.
Although joining Manchester United sounds like a dream, Baleba’s reality check comes with Amorim’s four standout rules. First on the list, players must think of vacations the way cats think of water – it’s a no-go! This is thanks to some cheeky players trying to sneak past the guard dogs dressed as suntanned tourists. Matchday meals banished from the dressing room follow, ensuring players engage in peak ‘run-like-mad-dogs’ condition. Rivalries on the pitch now extend to training gear clean-up, with losing training squads tasked with rounding up every escaped cone like they’re cowboys in a forgotten Western. Finally, coaches are encouraged to talk less and gesture more – think charades, but cooler. This, praised by experts as turning instructions clear as a summer’s day, aims to spark confidence among the squad.
