Why Bruno May Just Be the Best Bib Distributor…
Move over, water boys—the new cone champ might just be Manchester United’s very own captain, Bruno Fernandes! In a rather comical take, former Premier League boss Harry Redknapp claims Bruno would be best suited to handing out bibs for the rockstar lineup of United’s legendary Class of ’92. Who knew that being a leading goalscorer and team’s powerhouse in a gloomy season comes with such fancy perks?
Despite being the top dog this season in the United kennel, our dear Bruno has been swinging opinions like a pendulum! Some fans are chanting his praises, while others—like Roy Keane and Redknapp—seem to prefer the cacophony of the olden Fergie days. They pitch Bruno more like a hopeful auditionee than a rock-solid headliner. Apparently, he’d struggle to nudge even a Darren Fletcher out of the starting lineup!
While Manchester United wobbles nervously in the league’s lower reaches, one can only imagine Bruno hustling cones and bibs to legends such as Giggs and Scholes in a parallel universe. Lacing his current performance with a dash of reality check humor, Bruno’s bib-distribution destiny may indeed just mirror where United’s once-glorious pitch pursuits stand today.