Bruno vs. The Spanish Inquisition…
Once upon a matchday, in the mystical world of football, Captain Bruno Fernandes became a hero in red shirts and shorts against a tumbleweed of Spanish skepticism! Like a mighty magician, Fernandes conjured up a penalty, clutching his wand with the finesse of a seasoned wizard. When Rasmus Hojlund got tangled in a Bilbao player’s octopus arms in the box, VAR’s Dungeons and Dragons plotter Espen Eskas awarded the spot-kick. It was a moment so intense, the stadium’s popcorn stood up and cheered!
Our fearless number eight, Fernandes, didn’t just tap the ball into the net for United’s second goal; he sent it hurtling into orbit like a football comet destined for a glorious galaxy. But shenanigans were afoot! A Spanish reporter unleashed an interrogation as fiery as a chili pepper, questioning the merits of Hojlund’s dramatic plummet. The exchange had more suspense than a soap opera finale as Bruno wielded the football rulebook like a knight swinging Excalibur.
Meanwhile, Bilbao’s captain of the ship, Ernesto Valverde, was seen clutching his captain’s log, muttering something about punishments being tougher than cracking a frozen coconut open. He lamented the absence of Dani Vivian, like losing your favorite socks on laundry day. But never fear, dear reader, for Bruno Fernandes remains as cool as a polar bear sipping a smoothie, defending his penalty box paradise like the valiant guardian he is!
