Daily

Man United’s Euro-break sparks a tactical frenzy! Amorim’s got them playing like velociraptors at Grimsby! Can they score more than unicorns do?

Manchester United faces Fulham with Onana in, Hojlund out! Can they turn Craven Cottage into a triumph playground or just a penguin roller-rink fail?

Amorim’s lineup shake-up had Man U fans as puzzled as finding granny shredding on guitar! No striker tricks, unexpected moves, but where’s Amad’s magic?

Luke Shaw’s tackling like a lion, keeping Man Utd’s pitch purring! Injuries beware, this “special” left-back’s ready to dazzle all season long!

Man Utd signs Imtiaz Ahmad as head of medical magic! Swapping Crystal Palace for a Red Devils jersey, Ahmad joins the smoothest team shuffle ever!

Neville’s porcupine-sensing skills clash with Carragher’s jelly-like prediction for Man United’s finish! Will they land 4th or bounce to 7th?

Brandon Williams zooms from Man Utd shadows to Hull City’s super team! Ex-Red Devil dodges Dalmatians, skips the circus, and mentors like a wise old owl!

Man United’s ownership saga kicks off with the Glazers’ new “drag-along” clause—tossing Ineos like a catapulted frisbee! Meanwhile, Sheikh Jassim’s ambitions fizzle like flat soda.

Matheus Cunha dazzles as United loses to Arsenal, making stands jive and shirts vanish like a magician’s rabbits! Catch the Cunha show, it’s pure soccer magic!

Sean Dyche claims he can fix Man United with a twist of 4-4-2 magic, turning them from tap-dancing llamas into surprise champions!

Premier League xG Table Madness: Liverpool tops, Man United sneaks to 2nd without scoring, and City parties but ranks 6th! xG chaos or a new dance-off?

Gary Neville backs Man United’s shot at glory, sparking giggles from Carragher. The prediction duel? Like cats at a dog show! Who’ll cook the best spaghetti?

Rio Ferdinand roasts Man Utd’s goalie Altay Bayindir, calling him as useful as a chocolate teapot after flubbing against Arsenal. United’s shots were like bartender’s coins on New Year’s—plenty, but no score!

Man United: Superheroes Without Capes! Fumble a 1-0 loss to Arsenal, but spirits soar as they plot a thrilling comeback, eyeing Arsenal as their muse!

Gary Neville calls for a goalie swap at Man United! He suggests someone with catwalk confidence after Bayindir’s hot-potato blunders. Who’s next in goal?