Daily

Ruben Amorim’s got a lineup puzzle wilder than a pizza parlor at Manchester United! Who’ll stop Arsenal’s attack: Shaw the cheetah or Yoro the guardian?

Man Utd’s injury bugs before Arsenal clash: Players vanish like magicians! Can fresh faces like young Fletcher shine on the field? Get ready for disco soccer!

Premier League’s new rules are wilder than a cowboy disco! Captains-only ref chats, 8-sec goalie clampdown, and speedy offsides make it a ballerina rodeo!

Arteta foresees Man United’s comeback, predicting their leap from last season’s chaos like a sloth discovering its inner cheetah!

Ruben Amorim’s press charm revs up as he prepares for Arsenal with new stars and pastel cleats! Forget old woes, catch the action in the fanciest press room ever!

Man United’s got Premier League buzz! Amorim’s strategy is shaking things up like a football-toting unicorn hunt. Tune in for a season of surprises!

Man U dives back into the Carabao Cup round two, aiming not to trip over Grimsby like a clumsy cat. Can coach Amorim dodge that infamous 2014 slip-up?

Man Utd’s match paused when Sekou Kone channelled his inner soap star with a dramatic injury exit. Ambulance shortage added plot twists!

Man Utd’s Carabao Cup draw antics are live! Will they score or slip? Tune in as heartbeats tick faster than tots on sugar. Don’t miss the draw drama!

Man Utd’s got an 18-year-old midfield wizard, Jack Fletcher, in the spotlight! Son of legend, crossing rival lines, and ready to kick some Arsenal!

Man United’s gearing up for a Premier League comeback! With new signings and no European distractions, they aim to be top dogs faster than a skiing cousin!

Harry Maguire, cheerful as a seagull with a sandwich, supports Bruno’s captaincy at Man Utd. Will he outshine the defense like a jazzy peacock? Stay tuned!

Man United fans on tenterhooks await their Carabao Cup match-up! Who will the Reds face? It’s like a football fan’s birthday party surprise!

Rashford roasts Man Utd’s identity crisis, likening them to a chameleon-chicken combo! He wants less scrambled eggs, more candy shop plans! 🍭👟

Rashford’s new La Liga rival? The goalposts! Micah: “Hog the ball, forget pals!” Rashford: “I’d rather pass than wear tight shoes!” Score: Goals 1, Squirrel 0!