The Spectral Scoreboard Strikes Again!…
Behold! The Misfit Magic strikes, as the former Red Devil, Antony Elanga, leads the ghostly parade of ex-United players scoring against their old stomping ground! Like a haunted nursery rhyme on loop, Elanga joins the infamous club of Zaha, Welbeck, and others, putting the burning question in every fan’s mind: why do these former United stars shine elsewhere like disco balls at a gala when they could barely light a night bulb at Old Trafford?
Enter Scott “The McTerminator” McTominay, a midfield magician whose performances in Napoli could make a mozzarella weep with joy! While McTominay scores like he’s got goals on tap (even outscoring both Bruno “The Composed” Fernandes and Marcus “The Rocket” Rashford), United’s pairing of scattergun strikers continues to collectively break hearts. Meanwhile, Álvaro Fernández Carreras, a hidden gem polished in Portugal, would’ve plugged Luke Shaw-sized holes perfectly but instead dazzles in Lisbon under Benfica’s spotlight.
And let us not forget the custodian of calamities: David De Gea, who once ruled Old Trafford’s nether regions with razor-sharp reflexes now redeemed in glorious Italian arenas. While Onana’s bewildering ‘kick and hope’ tactics leave Old Trafford in tears, fans find themselves haunted nightly by what-might-have-beens and a Spanish goalkeeper who swapped his United armor for pastures Florentine and fashionably fickle goals. It’s a heady question—is the grass truly greener, or simply laced with nostalgia and a touch of regret?
