Ineos Executes Rugby’s Epic Drop-Kick…
In a plot twist worthy of a Shakespearean football match, Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s Ineos has called time on its scrum with New Zealand Rugby faster than a referee blowing for full-time! After a theatrical showdown in the courts over a mind-boggling £27 million ruckus, the two heavyweights have finally buried the hatchet quicker than a striker on a goal drought ending his dry spell. The deal was supposed to last until 2027, but alas, Ineos made a tactical withdrawal in a broader bid to save pennies. Cricket scores might bore, but this cost-cutting game is becoming an epic saga!
As part of their cost-saving kung-fu, Ineos opted to perform the disappearing act with Tottenham Hotspur, wave goodbye to jobs at Manchester United like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, and even sailed away from Sir Ben Ainslie’s America’s Cup team. The break-up was announced in a dramatic statement, as juicy as a post-match interview: “Shhh, our lips are sealed on the details, but let’s just say everyone’s happy now!” CityAm reports that Ineos packed their bags and is now nowhere to be found on New Zealand Rugby’s website, like a player lost in the offside trap!
While Ineos untangles itself from the All Blacks’ famous jerseys, Steve Martin, no not that one, warns of potential repercussions as big as a football stadium in an earthquake. Meanwhile, Sir Jim is still moonlighting with Mercedes F1, keeping the pedal to the metal while climbing the slippery peaks of football glory stakes in Nice and Lausanne. Ineos has blamed “the deindustrialization of Europe” for the split, claiming European energy costs skyrocketed like a World Cup crowd wave. With their logo still clinging to the All Blacks like a stubborn barnacle, this saga isn’t over until the final whistle sounds!
