Mitchell: Future Fantasy First-Teamer?…
In a shockwave of nostalgia that could shake even Sir Alex’s tea mug, Demetri “The Nostalgic Noodle” Mitchell is convinced he’d be starring under the bright lights of Manchester United if only he could teleport his younger self to today. The 28-year-old maestro currently dazzles the crowd at Exeter City like a golden retriever chasing a frisbee. Yet, the former United apprentice believes he’s got more skeel in his left boot than a spaghetti twister, insisting he could be a regular at Old Trafford if he was born 10 years later. Ah, the butterfly effect of football dreams!
While the current United lads seem to shuffle around like confused penguins, Mitchell’s colossal confidence turned heads like a 90-minute hat trick. Maybe a major transfer window of time-traveling talent awaits? Ruben Amorim’s Red Devils wobble precariously over a Premier League ditch as they clutch on to a Europa League life raft. But here comes Mitchell, smirking like a Cheshire cat, declaring he’d swim past the sinking ship and make a name among the big fish.
Twitter (or “X” if you’re in cool club lingo) witnessed Mitchell doubling down like a gambler on a hot streak. “Wing back,” he said with the conviction of a superhero’s sidekick, swiping through the air of doubt like it’s made of papier-mâché. Despite being blocked by Dorgu, Amass, and possibly even a tumbleweed, he insists his 20-year-old self at Old Trafford would be scorching the pitch with the blaze of youthful exuberance. His career path has been more winding than a roller-coaster made of spaghetti, but the man’s inner twinkle still burns brighter than a floodlit stadium on derby day. Watch this space, world!
