Bulls**t, Bullseye: Yoro Eyes Glory!…
In a world where Red Devils dance on the edge of soccer soapy sales, Leny Yoro, the new swashbuckling prince of footie funland, has decreed revenge upon the soccer cosmos. Armed with boots hotter than a jalapeño-flavored dragon’s breath, Yoro is convinced Man United’s resurrection will rival Lazarus waking up to a luxurious breakfast!
Last season, United trotted through the land of league buddies like a lost sheep in a lion’s den, missing European action like a rock star sans guitar. But fret not, because head coach Ruben Amorim, the maestro of the manic, is back and juiced up with strategic shenanigans sharper than a porcupine in a pogo stick race. Pre-season in the USA was pure parade delight; victories were scooped up like hot donuts on a wintry morn.
Bruno Fernandes, the verbal virtuoso, labeled Sunday’s clash against Everton a pre-season popsicle that melted too lazily. Yet, there’s no false gremlins under Amorim’s watchful wing, because this batch of Red Devils will train harder than a cat at a fish market. Yoro is confident this season’s plot twist involves not just redemption but a stampede of whimsical success that’ll leave skeptics bamboozled and fans shouting from rooftops!
