Star Defender Misses Utd’s USA Adventure…
Oh boy, Manchester United’s pre-season escapades are kicking off with a dramatic twist that even a soap opera would envy! Harry Maguire is nowhere to be seen in the Red Devils’ spectacularly oversized 32-man travel squad for their U.S. Tour, thanks to a top-secret personal matter. Rumor has it he could be the next star of his own reality TV show, ‘Harry’s Home Adventures,’ featuring half-time swaps and unexpected exits!
Meanwhile, Matheus Cunha, fresh off the birth of his second offspring — we assume he celebrated by dribbling a diaper down the hallway — is all set to swoop into action with the rest of the gang. The injured pair, Andre ‘The Magnificent’ Onana and Lisandro ‘One Leg Wonder’ Martinez, are tagging along too, because every tour needs a little drama and these two promise plenty. Martinez is in a mission to conquer the ACL mountain from February to infinity and beyond!
Among the fresh-faced hopefuls are Will ‘The Wall’ Murdock and a crew of young guns ready to shoot for the stars. Missing in action are the likes of Alejandro Garnacho and some others who’ve donned their invisibility cloaks as they plot dramatic exits from the Theatre of Dreams. As the team shuffles off to Chicago, New Jersey, and Atlanta, brace yourselves, because this tour’s about to be nuttier than a squirrel’s pantry!
