Sir Jim’s Job Scissors: A Cut Above the Rest!…

Sir Jim Ratcliffe is waving his magic wand—or maybe just a shiny pair of scissors—at Manchester United, slashing jobs faster than a winger on a breakaway! While the rest of Europe’s clubs are busy hiring like there’s no tomorrow, Sir Jim is in the mood to throw a redundancy party, with another 150 to 200 unfortunate souls getting the chop. It’s a bold move as other big players sprout staff like daisies, emphasizing commercial prowess over Old Trafford drama.

UEFA’s latest jaw-dropper reveals that clubs are employing an army of staff, with numbers shooting up by a whopping 33% since the pre-COVID era. Football’s gone beyond merely booting balls around—now it’s all about creating revenue and putting on a show! United had a healthy 1,140 employees in 2024, but with the looming job cuts, they’re set to tumble down the staffing table, potentially being outnumbered by the likes of Lyon and Frankfurt. Talk about hitting the post!

United’s executives are crossing their fingers that trimming the wage bill will kickstart the club back into gear. Omar Berrada insists they have to balance the books before they can shower fans with success. For now, United may have fewer folks in the offices, but they’re hoping the ones left can lead the club to glory—or at least keep the coffee machine stocked. Let’s just hope they don’t replace players with mannequins next season!