United’s Injury List: A Comedy of Bruises!…
In a world where football dreams are crushed faster than a deckchair in a hurricane, Manchester United’s injury report reads like a tragicomedy! As they warm up for the Bournemouth bash and the Athletic Bilbao battle, manager Ruben Amorim delivered news that would make even a stoic stoat gasp! The Red Devils are facing more injuries than a rubber band in a rampaging rhino parade!
Diogo Dalot’s calf decided to have a solo symphony, leading to a mysterious vanishing act from the lineup. Meanwhile, De Ligt has turned ankle balancing into an Olympic sport, being ‘near’ makes it sound like a mystical journey to Mordor! Heaven, with an ironically angelic name, suffered a ‘small setback’—too small to pinpoint, yet big enough to sit out, like an invisible giraffe at a limbo competition!
Oh, do not forget the ACL saga! Martinez’s anterior cruciate ligament waved an early goodbye to the season back in February, opting for a sabbatical. Amad’s ankle is flirting with a May return, in true soap-opera style, leaving fans guessing! Zirkzee’s hamstring went rogue, ending his season in a puff of melodrama. It’s a medley of muscles and mayhem, laughable enough to headline ‘United’s Great Injury Circus!’
