The Magpie Misadventure Awaits…
Folks, hold onto your red scarves, because Manchester United’s latest soap opera is about to air its next episode: “Zirkzee’s Toon Troubles!” The spicy saga revives memories of Joshua Zirkzee’s infamous 33-minute disappearing act last December against Newcastle’s Magpies. Like a superhero facing kryptonite, Zirkzee vanished quicker than a magician’s rabbit, leaving the Red Devils two down in less time than it takes to boil an egg! Enter Amorim’s dramatic early substitution, as cheers that were more ironic than a hipster’s moustache echoed around Old Trafford.
Fast forward to today, and Zirkzee has had more comebacks than a boomerang! He’s now shaking and baking as a No.10 in Amorim’s tactical casserole. Last week’s header against Lyon marked his hat-trick of 2025 and, surprisingly, tied him with the great Danish Prince Hojlund, who evidently forgot his scoring boots for the entire season! But seriously, folks, with neither of them setting the world on fire, it’s like having two goalkeepers trying to be strikers. Amorim is jonesing for a bonafide goal machine, and who could blame him?
But until Manchester United lands a new scoring wizard, Amorim’s going to be juggling Zirkzee and Hojlund like a circus clown with one too many juggling balls. The Toon Test looms, and despite Zirkzee’s recent heroics, everyone knows he’s about as natural a No.9 as a fish is at ballroom dancing. Amorim must be dreaming of a summer filled with transfer market bliss!
