Player Ratings from Man United vs Arsenal Match…
Manchester United kicked off their Premier League season like someone trying to start a lawnmower with a toothpick, losing 1-0 to Arsenal. Things fell apart faster than a house of cards in a hurricane when Altay Bayindir decided to invent a new sport called “Cornerball” and handed Riccardo Calafiori an easy goal. Benjamin Sesko tried to save the day, but Bryan Mbeumo’s aerial gymnastics ended up like a cat trying to fly, while David Raya calmly saved his header. Here’s the laugh-o-meter for the players at Old Trafford: Altay Bayindir should have brought popcorn for the bench with his 4 performance.
Leny Yoro seemed less like a defender and more like he was loitering around the pitch, scoring a cool 6. Matthijs de Ligt tangoed with Viktor Gyokeres, whose size was as exaggerated as a cartoon boulder, and landed a 6. Luke Shaw tried to launch attacks and got a respectable 6, leaving Amorim hopeful. Diogo Dalot served unlimited chances into the box as if he was all set to win “Best Butler Service” but scored a 6. Casemiro stood like a moai statue against Declan Rice’s volcanic play with a 5. Bruno Fernandes, inspired by Lewis and Clark, explored rashness with his 5. Patrick Dorgu’s level of threat vanished quicker than a responsible adult at a party, earning a 5. Mason Mount’s quiet contribution deserved a ghost award but got a 5. Bryan Mbeumo with his magic tricks got a 7, and Matheus Cunha, tireless as a sleepwalking marathoner, another 7. As for the rest, Amad was worth a 7 for shaking things up, while the team accused Manager of summoning rain with a team’s contentious picks scored a 5.
