Player Ratings like never before!…
Hold onto your hats, folks, as Manchester United whirlwinded through the Premier League Summer Series, drawing with Everton in a soccer saga that had more plot twists than a soap opera! Altay Bayindir, the goalkeeping gladiator, palmed James Garner’s free kick back into the danger zone like a cat batting at a rogue balloon. Everton hit the post on the rebound, leaving everyone wondering if Bayindir had a horseshoe in his gloves. With a rating of a cautious 5, he must surely be wondering why posts are his best pals.
Meanwhile, dancing on the stage like a rockstar, Bryan Mbeumo was dazzling fans with magical touches so breathtaking they could have been crafted by a wizard! His connection with Matheus Cunha and Bruno Fernandes was like a footballing bromance replayed in slow-mo, earning him a surreal rating of 7! The fans wept as he was pre-planned for a curtain call at halftime, leaving United craving more of his magic like a popcorn addict at a halfway movie mark.
And ladies and gentleman, the moment you’ve been waiting for—Mason Mount struck like thundercloud drama, scoring a goal reminiscent of his first tango with Athletic Bilbao. It’s what Shakespeare would’ve written about if he’d been a football fan—earning a stellar 8 out of 10. Casemiro, meanwhile, roamed the field somewhat like a lost pirate in search of his ship, coming in at a 5. Football comedy gold, was it not? Until next time, kick back and keep those cleats comically untied!
