Will Amorim’s Wacky XI Win in Bilbao?…
Folks, gather ’round the tale of crumpled knees and never-ending team sheets over at Manchester United. Come Tuesday morning, Carrington will look like a circus tent flapping in the wind without Leny Yoro and Matthijs de Ligt — vanished like a magician’s rabbit! Yoro took the wobbly walk of doom off the pitch last Sunday, making fans clench their pies. De Ligt’s appearances since April 1 are like spotting Bigfoot: rare and unfinished! Meanwhile, Diogo Dalot was caught basking shirtless in the Carrington sun, perhaps practicing sun-god rituals to guarantee a spot on the bench in Bilbao.
Over at Chelsea, Luke Shaw checked in, checked out, then assured himself a ticket to the Europa League final show, even though he hasn’t put on the starting act in 14 months. Dalot might be waiting in the wings to swap ballet shoes if Shaw’s act gets curbed. And what’s that? Noussair Mazraoui is playing a game of musical chairs with his positions — Ruben Amorim’s live chessboard on legs! As for serenades of United’s preparations, Amorim sings bittersweet hymns, both lauding the five-day ballroom of recovery and lamenting the one lonely shot on target.
Tactical twisters are further contorted as Bruno Fernandes tries his hand as super midfielder, while Amad eyes the majestic realm of number 10. Victor Lindelof, the great survivor of bygone finals, marches on like a player caught in Groundhog Day. Forget the midfield maestros of yore, Spurs may deploy a fortress of midfielders that could inspire a tactical revolution or just a really boring game. At this rate, Amorim’s lineup tale might rival a detective novel with more twists than a Slinky. Tune in for the barmy escapade, UEFA Theater of Dreams 2023!
