Patrick Schick: The Next Striker Saga…
So, Manchester United’s scouts are on quite the wild goose chase, or should we say, wild goalhound chase! Patrick Schick, the Bayer Leverkusen ninja with more goals than a hyperactive toddler’s dream, is waving a red cape to Man United like a matador at a bull. His 27-bangarang season has left clubs in Serie A and Premier League buzzing like caffeinated bees. But hold your horses, because Leverkusen’s freshly crowned overlord, Erik ten Hag, might just keep his knight in shining boots.
Now, if you think Schick’s rocketing balls into the net with the frequency of confetti at a wedding is impressive, wait till you hear about the 81 goals he’s buried for Leverkusen! Though our lad Patrick had one season where he scored less than a tortoise’s sprinting record due to injuries, he’s now shooting like a cannonball. But hey, United are shopping for a goal machine that’s younger, faster, and maybe not turning 30 faster than a top-speed Ferris wheel!
United’s treasure chest has a fair bit of spider webs, unable to afford the champagne sippers like Osimhen. But still, Schick won’t cost an arm, a leg, and a new football stadium. The Leverkusen lad might just be the hidden jewel they didn’t know they needed, but who cares as long as we get to see more rocket goals from planet Schick! Keep cheering, because the goalie’s gloves are on fire!
