Old Trafford’s Rainy Rebuild Rumble…
Holy siu! Andy ‘Big Pitches’ Burnham says there’s a better chance of a Manc World Cup than a mayo-less chip in Manchester! He’s dreaming of hosting the FIFA Women’s World Cup at a brand-spanking-new Old Trafford by 2035. How will they kick off? With grand plans of a whopping 100,000-seater stadium camouflaged by a giant umbrella, which sounds like the perfect place to avoid a Mancunian downpour while sporting your red scarves!
Meanwhile, the scramble begins! ‘The Club With No Name’ hunts for mega moolah while the Greater Manchester heads are tighter than skinny jeans about splashing public cash on this shiny fortress. They plan on transforming the area into a three-ring circus of mixed-use magic. Picture: homes, shops, and possibly even the Great Red Tractors go-karting track. It’s a ten-year countdown to the greatest footy fest for those dribbling footy dreams!
Saunders, the wizard behind Wembley, came to spill the beans! Lesson uno: public transport! Without it, fans trying to catch a game turn into lost sheep. He’s advocating the ‘freehold shuffle’ for extra control! And shoutout to clever Kenyon from Everton! Consultation is key—Scousers love a chinwag and were won over, 97% style. Brace yourselves, Greater Manchester, you’re on the fast track to world domination—or at least to a stadium that rains less on your parade!
