Matt Hargreaves: The Master Wheel Greaser…
Manchester United’s transfer market plans are more secretive than a spy’s handshake. Yet, the man rolling up his sleeves and greasing the wheels is Matt Hargreaves, Old Trafford’s very own silent ninja. Wrapped in the cloak of invisibility (or perhaps just a really good suit), he’s the baron of bargains, the sultan of selling, and the maestro of moving players from the United red to any other willing club color. He’s the guy who, when things get dicey, can geek out a deal as skillfully as a referee waving his mysterious yellow card.
This summer, the land of Manchester is awhirl as a three-ring circus juggles the fate of Garnacho, Rashford, Sancho, and Antony like flamboyant footballing flamingoes. Garnacho’s talents have eyeballs popping out like cartoon characters, making him the least challenging exit strategy. Meanwhile, Antony’s productive spell with Real Betis has been as tantalizing as bacon to a vegan. Rashford’s dreams of strutting his stuff at Barcelona have become as mythical as unicorns — the Catalan cash cave is as empty as a soccer ball with a puncture!
As for Mr. Sancho, Chelsea’s whims are as unpredictable as a cat with a laser pointer. Hargreaves dreams of a Chelsea-sized jackpot worth £25 million but must instead hunt for willing buyers like a treasure-seeking Gooner heading down the rabbit hole. Alas, the clearing out of this trio amounts to £90 million—a sum so dizzying, it makes Scrooge McDuck’s money pit look like a pocket change jar. Keep your eyeballs glued to Hargreaves’ wizardry as he spins the roulette wheel of transfer hopefuls, hoping not to get the notorious red card of negotiation blunders!
