Red Devils Fortify Castle with Untouchables!…
Hold onto your oversized goggles, football fans, because Manchester United has a transfer window plan wilder than a hedgehog running on a treadmill! Rumor has it that our favorite flailing giants of the sport are eyeing Europa League glory as if it’s a golden egg waiting to hatch into a Champions League phoenix. The Red Devils brass hats believe that securing a win against Athletic Bilbao is their golden ticket out of Willy Wonka’s football funhouse. Once they get to Europe’s elite candyland, it’s all about the PSR clashes and summer shopping sprees bigger than a Black Friday bonanza.
And in a move straight out of a fairy tale, United have waved their magic wands and bestowed ‘untouchable’ status on four knights of the ball: Sir Bruno Fernandes, the Varane of Maguire, the artistic Amad, and the mythical Patrick Dorgu. However, others like Kobbie-hustle-Mainoo, Alejandro “El Luchador” Garnacho, and Luke “The Evening Shadows” Shaw could be packing their bags faster than you can say “offside trap.” In January’s winter wonderland, both Mainoo and Garnacho flirted with the exit door, flashing pound signs in the eyes of PSR like magpies at a diamond fair.
Now, enter the stage: Fernandes, with his feet worth more than a fleet of Ferraris! Rumblings abound from the land of magical lamps, as Al-Hilal’s interest in our Captain Marvel has been as strong as the smell of garlic breath at a vampire convention. United firmly insists that Bruno isn’t going anywhere; in fact, they’ve padlocked him to Old Trafford with enough chain to anchor a pirate ship. Coach Amorim even declared, with all the confidence of a lion with a full mane, “He plays 55 games a season, and he’s still as young as a whippersnapper in a sweet shop!” So, folks, fear not—the transfer circus continues, and Fernandes isn’t leaving, unless, of course, he fancies a camel ride in the desert sand!
