Marseille’s Off-Target Magic Show…
Mason Greenwood, once a red-hot sparkler on the football pitch, is currently experiencing an on-field existential crisis of cartoonish proportions at Marseille. Last Saturday, he received a whopper of a flop score: 2 out of 10! That’s like trying to score a goal with a burst beach ball. Having arrived from Manchester United as the next big thing, he was scoring goals like a popcorn machine in hyper mode — five in three games! But alas, the fizz in his soda has gone flat, and his performance against Reims was more Houdini than Grealish — disappearing at critical moments.
While Greenwood’s sneak peeks into brilliance showed up in bits and bobs with five shots and a couple of dribbles, L’Equipe deemed him ‘non-existent’ enough to rival an imaginary friend convention. Commentators are wondering if he forgot his golden boots at home and put on a pair made of bricks! And if missing the net was an Olympic sport, he’d surely be in the running for gold. But cheer up, footy fans — our not-quite-Greenwood hopes to reignite his scorcher streak next Sunday when Marseille face Toulouse.
In a twist fit for a football soap opera, head coach De Zerbi deployed the kind of fierce punishment that would make even the toughest military camp raise its eyebrows: a slumber party at the club’s training ground instead of heading home. The team has slipped to third, and De Zerbi is not taking it lying down — literally! If Marseille wants to get back on track, they’ll need more than a magic wand. Next stop, Toulouse: a chance for Greenwood to rediscover that goal-scoring magic and perhaps shake off the invisibility cloak once and for all!
