Napoli’s Highland Hercules Strikes!…
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s Scott McTominay, jetting around Europe like a footballing Superman! After swapping the windy brilliance of Manchester for the pizza-infused talent factory of Napoli, this lad has kicked more goals than the entire cast of “Soccer Ninjas.” And let’s not kid ourselves—who wouldn’t want a mural next to Maradona, even if the closest they get is a doodle on a pizza box? Last Monday’s 3-0 victory against Empoli saw Scotty rip the net, not once, but twice, leaving Empoli’s defense as confused as squirrels in a roundabout.
The city of Naples, known for its wild football obsessions, now has its very own Braveheart in McTominay! Inspired by the ancient art of spaghetti tackles and mozzarella dribbles, he’s as heroic as a chocolate teapot at a hot cocoa party. As fans chant their newest football ballad, “Oh Braveheart, our cult hero with shooting boots made of softer pasta!” even Napoli captain Giovanni Di Lorenzo joins in, basically constructing a monument for our heroic Scotsman every time he scores.
Back in Manchester, meanwhile, United watches with monocled regret, resembling a fancy turkey on a rollerblading course. The absence of Champions League might cost them more gold than a pirate ship in a misty-eyed tale. And what’s the golden lesson learned from Scott’s journey? Don’t just trade your academy gems for magic beans, unless you want someone else growing the beanstalk to football glory! In Italy, he’s proving he’s more than just pure profit—he’s the nutmeg ninja of Naples.
