Carrington’s Pre-Season Conundrum…
It was a foggy Monday morning at Carrington, as Manchester United’s pre-season preparations spectacularly kicked off under the suave supervision of new head honcho, Ruben Amorim. Like an episode of “Where’s Wally,” a mere 15 first-team players appeared, with fresh new faces like Matheus Cunha and Diego Leon shining amidst a sea of red shirts. As tradition would have it, some of the crew, like Andre “The Wall” Onana and Luke “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop” Shaw, turned up, but the great Rasmus Hojlund was still galloping to catch up, courtesy of an international hangover.
Meanwhile, the dynamic duo of Diogo “Daredevil” Dalot and Bruno “The Magician” Fernandes took a pit stop in the world of emotional thunderstorms. After heroically clinching the Nations League, they found themselves at a somber gathering for their departed comrade, Diogo Jota, in Portugal. As United granted them a compassionate leave, this heartwarming saga saw them missing out on joining their mates. With hugs, tears, and mournful goodbye chants, it’s a tear-jerking backstory for our usual football laughfest.
Adding fuel to the fiery Carrington drama, our loquacious lineup of Tyrell “Turbo” Malacia, Jadon “Slick” Sancho, Alejandro “Flash” Garnacho, Marcus “Savior” Rashford, and Antony “The Enigma” were AWOL, whispering sweet secrets of their desires to kickstart new chapters away from the Old Trafford chronicles. The club, cool as a cucumber left in the sun, has no plans to hinder their dreams, bidding farewell with invisible tissues. Will they return, or will new horizons call their names? Only time, and perhaps a bottle of super-secret transfer sauce, will tell!
